If Only

There are few things more disrupting to a good night’s sleep than being violently awakened at 3am by the sound of your dog getting ready to throw up.  And yet, this is how my day “started” today because after rushing the dog to the back door to relieve her upset stomach, my brain was apparently ready to engage and I never settled back down.

So, as I was sitting in my bed, three hours later, sipping coffee in an effort to revive my already-tired self, yet with a full day still ahead, I started into the “If-onlys”:

If only I didn’t have to go to work.

If only I had someone to clean my house.

If only I had more time to study.

If only I had more time to write.

If only I had been able to go back to sleep.

If only … if only … if only…

Thankfully, I quickly recognized that this was not a helpful path to be headed down, realizing that every time I said “If only” I was effectively saying “no” to the roles and responsibilities God has me for today, as if my plans could possibly be better for me than His.  As I was pondering this, I was reminded of this verse:

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11).

Thank you, Lord, for this gentle reminder and correction that Your plans are better than mine. I will rest contented in that peace for today.

What “if-onlys” do you need to confess today?